ONEs are known for their high standards, integrity and principles. They look at reality and see what should be. This focus of attention on correcting what is wrong is directed both outward and inward. It might be about many things or aimed at just one area, like how people should behave. ONEs have always tried to be good and act responsibly. They say they have a strong internal critic whom they are always trying to please. They are idealistic and often are agents of social change. Their energy of anger is contained, but they often feel resentment because others are not working as hard as they are. All of this comes from a belief that the world is a judgmental place and punishes bad behavior and impulse. The way to feel worthy or loved is by being as close to perfect as possible. ONEs do everything to avoid making mistakes, being out of control or being unworthy. When ONEs experience discomfort they rarely express overt anger. Instead they automatically use the mechanism of reaction formation to manage unacceptable impulses by often being critical of similar impulses in others. Ironically, adhering to just one right way to be and holding one’s self and others to strict standards, omits all other possibilities and outcomes which may be a part of perfection.
What pushes ONEs’ buttons?
Things being done the wrong way
Criticism ( ONEs are hard enough on themselves.)
How do others experience ONEs?
The Good: Healthy ONEs are people of the highest integrity and reliability. They show concern for improvement and are highly responsible.
The Bad: If ONEs are in the trance of their style, others feel criticized, inferior and defensive in their presence. ONEs can procrastinate if there is a chance that the outcome will not be perfect.
The Better: ONEs grow by learning that imperfection is a part of perfection. They learn to notice what is good and to turn down the volume on the critical mind.
ONE with a NINE wing (1w9) looks at the bigger picture with a sense of calm detachment. Quietly judgmental, less engaged than other ONEs. Can be dry, strict and very practical.
ONE with a TWO wing (1w2) is warmer, more personable in imposing their high standards. They may be more forgiving of shortcomings in others. These ONEs are more engaged in activities of social change than other ONEs. They are more emotionally available and can show more frustration when disappointed by others.
ONE’s connection to SEVEN allows ONE to relax judgment and have fun, becoming more playful. They allow themselves to notice what is positive around them. Unhealthy connection brings a struggle against playful Sevenish impulses which feel opposed to the need to be good. When these are at war, and opposed impulses win out, all rules are broken.
ONE’s connection to FOUR brings a tender revelation of feelings that have been overshadowed by the need to do right. The artistic, creative side emerges and gives expression to the ideal. In connecting to the lower side of FOUR, ONE can become deeply depressed, more self-critical and hopeless about the world in general.
Self-preservation ONE can appear anxious about material well-being and about making mistakes that will put their financial survival at risk. They often look like SIXES.
Social ONE is preoccupied with the rules and social order. They are strongly aligned with then rules and the group in order to feel less anxious. They can have a hard time adapting.
Intimate ONE has high expectations for the idealized partner and often experiences jealousy.
Famous ONES: William F. Buckley, Katherine Hepburn, Ralph Nader, Martha Stewart, Kenneth Starr, Margaret Thatcher, Buckminister Fuller, Hillary Clinton, The Lone Ranger, the Amish, Switzerland
ONES in the movies: Paul Newman in Mr. and Mrs. Bridge; Katherine Hepburn in most of her roles, Frederick March in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird; Joan Plowright in Enchanted April; Paul Scofield in A Man for All Seasons