THREES are known for being competitive, always on the move, and highly goal-oriented. These high-achievers are full of energy and easily adapt to meet others’ expectations. The driving energy is one of self-deception, as THREE adapts to meet expectations of those around him and project a good image. The focus of attention on winning or achieving is often at the cost of awareness of one’s own feelings or the feelings of others. THREES do everything to avoid failure and projecting a less-than-good image. This comes from a belief that in order to be loveable I must appear successful, because the world rewards doing over being. THREES report that they can easily confuse achievement with a genuine sense of worthiness. When THREES experience discomfort, they automatically use the mechanism of identification to convince themselves that they are the same as their accomplishments. Ironically, image and success by others’ standards do not guarantee inner fulfillment, especially in the absence of one’s own feelings and those of loved ones.
What pushes THREE’S buttons?
Anything that gets in the way of their goal
How do others experience THREES?
The Good: Many people admire the tireless go-ahead energy and high achievements of this type. They can be great leaders when healthy because they accomplish so much and they have all that energy.
The Bad: They may tend to cut corners or pretend to be something they are not. Can be narcissistic. People close to THREES often wish they would slow down and enjoy life.
The Better: Healthy THREES make room for their feelings and others’ feelings, even if this gets in the way of the goal. They know that they are valuable even when they are imperfect.
THREES with a TWO wing (3w2) have a strong social focus and need even more external approval than other THREES. When unhealthy, they exhibit unmanaged anger. When healthy, they are generous, loving and can be gifted mentors.
THREES with a FOUR wing (3w4) are more self-focused and tend to judge their successes by their creations or their own uniqueness. At some point, a healthy THREE with a Four Wing will want to work on himself. They become compassionate and deeply caring.
When THREES go to the low side of Nine, they may put off dealing with uncomfortable feelings and embrace emotional numbness. On the high side, they may relax the doing and in its place, enjoy being.
When THREES go to the high side of SIX they get in touch with their loyalties to others and with their own fears. The moral high road is more important than winning. On the low side, anxiety keeps the THREE from experiencing true feelings.
Self-preservation THREES are driven by the desire for material wealth, as this signifies success in their eyes.
Social THREES measure themselves by rewards and credentials of the social group. How they rank in the eyes of others is most important.
Intimate THREES play the role of the desirable male or female, depending on society’s expectation or the partner’s expectation. They need to stand out as desirable, as their self-image depends on it.
Famous THREES: Oprah, Tom Cruise, Diane Sawyer, Jimmy Carter, the USA
THREES in the movies: Tom Cruise in Rainman (or almost any movie); Mary Tyler Moore in Ordinary People ; Annette Bening in The Grifters; Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda; Arnold Schwarzenegger in Pumping Iron